reggie veggie head

Here's a little picture that slipped through the cracks during the whole Omro Oeuvre thing. My apologies to Mr. Wrage.

pickle with powers

With a heavy heart, Newmanpicturesblog presents the final part of the most exhaustive collection of stories about dogs and pickles and t-shirts ever commited to paper, then commited to Photoshop, then commited to the Internet. It's been real...or has it? Kaden's "Pickle With Powers" has me wondering...

amazing dog

We've reached the penultimate chapter in the dog-pickle-t-shirt anthology, Auralea's "Amazing Dog". Or as I like to call it, "Merely Helpful Dog Without a Pickle or a T-Shirt as Should Have Been Included as per the Assignment Parameters."

the dog that wondered which is the real pickle

The nineteenth story from the Omro Elementary second-graders is Max's "The Dog That Wondered Which is the Real Pickle".

SPOILER ALERT:

It's not the black one.

knish

I don't know who wrote this, I don't know what it's called, but I'll tell you this much: I could really go for a knish. While I look for a kosher deli, please check out Untitled's "Untitled".

jeff and the dog

Outside of a few Pagan ritual mishaps, bone fires are responsible for approximately zero deaths throughout history. Lest we grow complacent, however, comes Will with a reminder that we can never be too scared of things that will probably never happen. Here's his story, "Jeff and the Dog."

the dog show

No dogs were made to jump through a flaming hoop in the making of Marissa's "The Dog Show." What a gyp.

in the woods up north

Both hunters and hunted alike agree: Taylor's "In the Woods Up North" is "the most explosive story of the summer (Dead Squirrel, Dead Squirrel in a Stew Pot Monthly)", and "a real trip...pack your bags (Eustas X. Jones, The Crazy Old Hermiter)!".

the dog with a black shirt with a pickle

Put your fingers together for "The Dog With a Black Shirt With a Pickle", by Talia. Can you dig it?

the dog who found a pickle and shirt

I applaud the author of our next story, Derek, for coming clean about his addiction to performance-enhancing drugs, albeit in a "fictional" work titled "The Dog Who Found a Pickle and Shirt". It certainly explains why he was able to kick seven home runs in the fifteen minute kickball game I participated in during my visit to Omro Elementary.

the pickle stealer

Based on circumstantial evidence presented in tonight's story, Spencer's "The Pickle Stealer", the dog was sentenced to three years hard time in the Columbia Correctional Institution in Portage, Wisconsin. Fortunately, the prison transport bus overturned on an icy road, allowing him to escape and, eventually, track down the real culprit behind the pickle larceny, Ryan. Before Ryan was carted away, post-arraignment, he was heard to shout "I'll pickle steal you all...in Hell!" Authorities are still unclear as to the meaning of the threat, but remain vigilant.

autumn's dog

There are no less than six characters mentioned in Austin's "Autumn's Dog", and it's only a paragraph long. I smell spinoffs, and they smell like bacon. Delicious!

the dog vanilla

Today's story, "The Dog Vanilla", by Erin, is the Stairway to Heaven of the dog-pickle-t-shirt series. It's a perfectly charming story, if read in a conventional manner, but holding it up to a mirror reveals profane backward writing that exalts "The Father of Lies" and his "obsidian works". Bill Cosby, I'll never doubt you again. Kids really do say the darndest things.

the four friends

The black shirt kept him warm.
The pickle reminded him of home.
Anonymous's "The Four Friends"...

dog and penguin

J'accuse, Dillon. "Dog and Penguin" is a brazen rip-off of my in-development book, Gourd and Tugboat, about a gourd and a tugboat. You'll be hearing from my lawyers. Good day, sir.

I said good day!

the big dog

I tried very hard to come up with a biting introduction for "The Big Dog", but its cuteness thwarted all my attempts. So, I had to resort to Plan B: canceling author Nicholas's birthday, forever. Tough luck, man.

a dog name floppy and a lion name cody and a pickle name ody

If you read just one anthropomorphic pickle story this year, make it "A Dog Name Floppy and a Lion Name Cody and a Pickle Name Ody", written by the eponymous Cody (who is not, in fact, a lion; he's totally a kid, I met him).

the carnival

Remember how, in the first season of Lost, they spent a dozen episodes building up the mystery surrounding the contents of the hatch, and then the finale ended with them opening the hatch, and you suddenly realized to your horror and dissapointment that "oh my god, they're really not going to show us what's in the hatch"? Well, Abbie's "The Carnival" is kind of like that. But I'm sure the inevitable sequel, "The Carnival: At the Carnival" will clear up all unanswered questions, just like Lost has.

pickle dog

The dog-pickle-t-shirt cycle continues with this, the greatest story ever told. It's Ciera's "Pickle Dog". Do the command!

the dog who made trouble

A word of warning to all dogs thinking of attending Omro Elementary: don't. The grading system is unforgiving, and science class...is murder. Or so says our next feature, the macabre "The Dog Who Made Trouble", by Ryan.