nice try, roscoe jenkins

Thursday was Saint Valentine's Day here in the Milwaukee, and perhaps where you live, as well. It was also the day that I mailed off the illustrations for my third picture book, The Boys, and the day I did not see box office sensation Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins.

Now, you might be asking yourself, "How can he equate the achievement of completing a book to the achievement of not seeing box office sensation Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins?" To which I might respond "I didn't. That's why I mentioned Roscoe Jenkins second."

Look, I am definitely more proud of finishing the book than not seeing Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins. The Boys took four years of my life to complete. It just so happens that on the last day of those four years, something else of note didn't happen. And why shouldn't I be proud of that? I mean, have you seen the ads for this thing? If you can resist the wild-eyed antics of funnyman Martin Lawrence, then you would have been a better man than me had I not also resisted the wild-eyed antics of funnyman Martin Lawrence.

But don't for a moment think that I think not seeing Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins is as noteworthy an event as turning in my book. It was a much more rewarding experience in just about every way imaginable, except in the way that it was not another potentially hilarious movie in which Mo'Nique slaps some fool for disrespecting her I didn't see, despite commercials compelling me to do otherwise. And I'm going to celebrate by taking the entire day I didn't see Big Momma's House 2* off.

*formerly President's Day.