The following is a transcript of the third in a series of interviews with my cat, in which she reminisces about her pre-adoptive life. We call it "Tuesdays with June".
NEWMANPICTURESBLOG: ...ere again with June. Hello, June.
JUNE: Guten morgen.
NPB: I see we have a guest here, today.
JUNE: That's right. This is Fräulein Gerda.
NPB: Hello there.
JUNE: Gerda, shake.
NPB: Nice to...say, that's quite a grip.
FRÄULEIN GERDA: Glag.
NPB: Now, June, I've heard a rumor.
JUNE: ...
NPB: A little bird told me you've got a crush on someone...
JUNE: I'm not following.
NPB: I'm referring to a certain scruffy, male celebrity that starred in the television show Dawson's Creek...
JUNE: You'll have to be more specific.
NPB: Joshua Jackson.
JUNE: Are you referring to James Van Der Beek?
NPB: What? No, Joshua Jackson.
JUNE: Well, I wouldn't kick him off the windowsill. You can print that.
NPB: (laughs) So, last time we discussed your parents.
JUNE: Did we?
NPB: Briefly. And now, I'd like to ask you about your living situation as a kitten.
JUNE: That's fine.
NPB: ...
JUNE: ...
NPB: ...What was your living situation as a kitten?
JUNE: It was fine.
NPB: Really?
JUNE: Yes. I was a little thirsty, maybe.
NPB: But, uh, weren't you brought up in a house with two hundred other cats? That's what I was told by the Humane Society.
JUNE: Next question.
NPB: Those conditions couldn't have been ideal...
JUNE: Gerda!
NPB: Aack!
FRÄULEIN GERDA: Moo-ha-ha.
NPB: Ow, OWWW! June, tell her to let me go!
JUNE: You're in no position to make demands.
Join us next time for the first part of the "Tuesdays with Jeff" series, when I take pleasure in extracting sensitive information from my captor with the help of Fräulein Gerda.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
you guys are freaks. did you know that?
Post a Comment