Tuesday, June 19, 2007

tuesdays with june 3

The following is a transcript of the third in a series of interviews with my cat, in which she reminisces about her pre-adoptive life. We call it "Tuesdays with June".

NEWMANPICTURESBLOG: ...ere again with June. Hello, June.

JUNE: Guten morgen.

NPB: I see we have a guest here, today.

JUNE: That's right. This is Fräulein Gerda.

NPB: Hello there.

JUNE: Gerda, shake.

NPB: Nice to...say, that's quite a grip.


NPB: Now, June, I've heard a rumor.

JUNE: ...

NPB: A little bird told me you've got a crush on someone...

JUNE: I'm not following.

NPB: I'm referring to a certain scruffy, male celebrity that starred in the television show Dawson's Creek...

JUNE: You'll have to be more specific.

NPB: Joshua Jackson.

JUNE: Are you referring to James Van Der Beek?

NPB: What? No, Joshua Jackson.

JUNE: Well, I wouldn't kick him off the windowsill. You can print that.

NPB: (laughs) So, last time we discussed your parents.

JUNE: Did we?

NPB: Briefly. And now, I'd like to ask you about your living situation as a kitten.

JUNE: That's fine.

NPB: ...

JUNE: ...

NPB: ...What was your living situation as a kitten?

JUNE: It was fine.

NPB: Really?

JUNE: Yes. I was a little thirsty, maybe.

NPB: But, uh, weren't you brought up in a house with two hundred other cats? That's what I was told by the Humane Society.

JUNE: Next question.

NPB: Those conditions couldn't have been ideal...

JUNE: Gerda!

NPB: Aack!


NPB: Ow, OWWW! June, tell her to let me go!

JUNE: You're in no position to make demands.

Join us next time for the first part of the "Tuesdays with Jeff" series, when I take pleasure in extracting sensitive information from my captor with the help of Fräulein Gerda.

1 comment:

AmyTorrey said...

you guys are freaks. did you know that?