i'm rich

Recently, I've been reading a lot about the harsh realities of being a published children's author; the low pay, the long nights, and the empty stomachs. And frankly, I don't know what these people are talking about. I'm rich.

Some of these complainers would have you believe that they've never burned a million dollar bill in a crystal urn just to know what it smells like, or fed their dog bald eagle wings. I'm not like that. I'll tell you the truth, because I believe what they don't: you can fly to Jakarta to party with Diddy on Saturday and be back in time to read at a children's hospital on Monday. Being a good person and role model to today's youth and owning a gold hovercraft are not mutually exclusive.

A life of luxury is nothing to be ashamed of, so, dear colleagues, I urge you to lift the veil. Keep making books that inspire, but don't pretend you clip your own toenails when your robot servants do it for you. It's insulting.