i'm here to amuse you

In two weeks, I'll be reading Hippo! No, Rhino to four second grade classes at Omro Elementary School in Omro, Wisconsin. My palms are sweating just thinking about it.

If you've read this blog in its entirety, you know that I've got a slight case of stage fright. Since posting that entry, I've done some thinking about the causes behind it, and I've come to the conclusion that, rather than being frightened of being the center of attention, I'm scared of being myself. See, in high school, I was in bunch of musicals and plays, and never once felt nervous going onstage. Actually, it was quite the opposite: I felt, to use the parlance of Metrowest Massachusetts circa early 1990's, "psyched" to stand in front of a full house and blow the roof of the cafetorium with a rousing rendition of "Miracle of Miracles" from Fiddler on the Roof. Those were heady days, indeed, as evidenced by this recently uncovered photo from the Ashland Youth Theater production of Once Upon a Mattress. That's me, as Sir Harry, in the purple, velour frock:



As comfortable as I was playing a part, however, I dreaded, and continue to dread, public speaking. And a children's book reading is just public speaking with a shorter audience. I don't have lines, or a wacky persona, or a folk guitar, or any other kind of prop or costume to lean on. It's me as me, standing in front of a group of eager faces, answering questions, sincerely, and trying not to sound like an idiot.

What I wouldn't give for a plastic sword and a pound of Pancake.