good news

I'm still rich. Very rich. Children's book author rich. And it's fantastic. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, and no one can stop me. Johnny Depp can't stop me. Matt Damon can't stop me. Johnny Damon can't even stop me. Last week I parachuted a snapping turtle into Yankee Stadium. Why? I don't care.

But what I do care about are the kids. Those precious little faces mean everything to me. That's why I do what I do. That's why I collect one zillion dollars, before taxes, to write and illustrate picture books that carry a message of hope, friendship, and understanding. So, when someone accuses me of doing this for the money, it really makes me want to sick my goons on them. All the money in the world (of which I own four sixteenths) wouldn't mean a thing if I didn't feel like I was making a difference in the life of a child.

All you doubting thomases will think what you will, but remember this: I'm only a man. An extremely wealthy man with a moon base and feelings. And while my adamantium battle armor may be able to repel a direct ballistic missile attack, it's no protection against unkind words.