six votes

You know what's worse than being entered into a competition without your knowledge? Losing that competition; getting served, if you will. That's what happened today over at A Fuse #8 Production, where Scott Magoon, illustrator of Ugly Fish, was crowned the 37th, uh, member of the Hot Men of Children's Literature, and I was crowned the first Ugliest Hot Man of Children's Literature.

Scott pulled down 84 reader votes, closely followed by David Ezra Stein, author and illustrator of Cowboy Ned & Andy. Had I known this was going to be the case, I could have taken David out months ago, at the Original Art show, with a well-executed Back Brain Kick. If I ever finish my time machine, that dude better wear a helmet. Even though the only way he'll be able to get a helmet is to ask me to send a helmet back in time for him, and I will say no. Unless he has his own time machine. If he does, he can be wearing a helmet when he goes back in time. And there's no guarantee he won't arrive a minute before I do and hit me with a lead pipe. I do not want to get hit with a lead pipe, so just forget it. I've got better things to do than wage war through time against David Ezra Stein. What's it going to accomplish, in the end? No matter who wins, we all lose.

So, where was I? Oh, yeah. Six votes. I got six measly votes. That's six more than nobody. I lost more than everybody. And I didn't even know my name was being considered until today.