bride of the great shrinky dink giveaway

The Great Shrink-Dink Giveaway is this deal where I give away Shrinky-Dink art to people that email me. I know, it's crazy.

Well, I'm doing it again, and it really couldn't be any easier to win. I mean that. I literally can not make this contest any less difficult. To even call it a contest is bordering on fraud. There is no skill involved, whatsoever. All you need is a pokey thing to type with, the eye of the tiger, and a valid mailing address. You can even use someone else's address, if you don't have one of your own. But it should probably belong to someone you know. It can get a little awkward if you're caught trying to collect your prize from a stranger's mailbox. Believe me. One minute, you're rooting through some schmuck's bills, and the next you're in Cell Block 8, training a mouse to do your bidding.

Okay, so you've got a pokey thing, the will to survive, and someone's mailing address. Now, what? Simple. Open up an email, type the word "dink" in the subject line, send it to jeff@newmanpictures.com, and swear eternal allegiance to whichever dark master you serve in exchange for victory in The Great Shrinky-Dink Giveaway Mach III. If you're the first person to follow this procedure correctly, you'll know it because A) I'll tell you so, and B) you'll feel a persistent chill indicating you no longer have a soul. Congratulations! I hope it was worth it.

Newmanpicturesblog is in no way affiliated with Shrinky-Dinks or K & B Innovations, Inc., and will not be held accountable for car accidents linked to Shrinky-Dink slippage. Or herpes.

Dark masters do not guarantee Shrinky-Dinks in return for eternal allegiance.